Memories
by SierraFrost
Summary: Poland and Lithuania try to mend their strained relationship after WWII. PolandxLithuania.
1. Explanations

**So. Um. I was planning on uploading the second chapter today, but I swear to God I was asleep when I wrote it or **_**something. **_**In other words, it's currently undergoing surgery and should be released from the hospital in a few days. But I'll get it up eventually!**

**This is not historically accurate at all. It's just me being fangirly.**

**Mucho amor y gracias a Gaby para su...su...ayuda...? Okay, I'm sorry. I tried. Thank you, Gaby. XD **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or its characters in any way, shape, or form.**

I slumped on the couch, unsure what to do with myself. At Russia's house there were always chores to finish, work to be done…here, I was alone with my thoughts for company, and to be honest, I would almost rather have…

No. It was better to be here, away from Russia. Dear God, anything was better than being with Russia. Best to just not think about it at all.

"Hey, Liet. Are you, like, doing okay?"

I jumped, panicking, when I felt someone's hands on my shoulders. Instinctive fear at being touched rose up in me, and I pulled away before I fully realized who the speaker was.

"Poland!" I gasped, turning slightly to glance up at him. "You- you startled me." I turned away from his green eyes and stared hard at the ground, trying to calm my breathing.

He leaned over my shoulder, and I reluctantly turned to look at him. "Are you okay?" he asked again, looking concerned. "I mean, I was, like, totally partitioned by Russia a few times, but I came out-"

I turned away, fighting a surge of irrational anger. "Maybe, but you were never held in Russia's house, were you?"

He was silent for a moment, and then said in an overly cheerful tone, "Sorry, I, like, totally drifted off. What were you saying?"

"It doesn't matter," I murmured, feeling blank and empty.

"Yes, it does," he insisted, his voice suddenly serious again. "I'm, like, worried about you, Liet."

The conversation was taking a bad turn. I didn't want to think about any of this, much less discuss it with Poland.

"I'm fine," I replied. "Can I use your bath?" _If I can just get out of the room…_

"Sure, totally," he said, looking a little confused.

"Thanks." I tried not to hurry too quickly into the bathroom, not wanting Poland to know how much I wanted to be alone.

I undressed and slipped into the hot bathwater, feeling myself relax almost instantly. The water soothed my back, still aching from the old scars that covered it and the newer bruises. I closed my eyes, determined to enjoy every minute of this bath.

I lost track of time, but I don't think I was in the bathroom for any more than ten minutes before I heard a noise at the door. I didn't immediately connect the noise with anything until I heard Poland's voice from behind me.

"What _happened _to you?" I started violently and turned around to face him, panicking again. _He can't know, I can't tell him- _"I-it's fine," I stammered, praying desperately that he would just leave, please leave, and don't ask any questions…

"No, it is so totally _not _fine!" He tried to walk around behind me to look at my back, but I turned myself again so that I could continue facing him. I realized somewhat belatedly that I had a few large, purplish bruises on my chest, and tried to sink down into the water to hide them.

"Who did this to you?" he continued, starting to look really angry. "It was Russia, wasn't it?"

I couldn't meet his gaze anymore. I dropped my eyes to the bathwater, silently cursing whatever quirk of fate that had gotten me into this situation.

"Lithuania, if you don't tell me who did it, like, right now, I'm going to go find Russia and I'm-"

"No!" My mind was suddenly full of images of Poland unconscious, Poland bleeding, Poland dead… "No, Poland, whatever happens, don't go to Russia! Don't- remember what happened last time-? Don't! I can't- I won't let you go!" The panicky feeling in my chest had expanded, rendering me almost completely incoherent. I felt like I was on the verge of a complete mental breakdown, and I probably was.

He just stared at me in shock for a moment, but then he knelt down by the side of the tub and pulled me into an awkward embrace. "Shh, Liet, okay, I'll stay here with you," he said quietly. "I promise."

I rested my forehead against his chest, my breaths coming in deep and shuddering. I could feel my limbs shaking a little.

He pulled back after my breathing had returned to normal. "So, okay, how _did _this happen?" he asked. Of course he wasn't going to back down, even after my near heart attack. "I'm not gonna, like, run off and confront Russia, if that's what you're worried about."

I really did not want to talk about this with him, but I knew him well enough to know that I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Gathering my thoughts together, I began, choosing my words carefully.

"You know firsthand that Russia can be pointlessly cruel. But he's also prone to…rages, I suppose you could call them. Most of the time he would be gentle with the three of us, but every once in a while, something would set him off. I'm not entirely sure what triggered these fits, but they were usually without warning. Latvia got the worst of it, maybe just because he's smaller and more helpless than Estonia and I…I tried to get in between Russia and Latvia as much as I could, and sometimes I managed to get between him and Estonia, but-" I smiled bitterly- "we've been with Russia so much on and off for so long that we're pretty well accustomed to it by now."

"So…this happens every time Russia takes you," Poland said. I could tell by his expression that he was having some difficulty coming to terms with this new information. "Why didn't you ever, like, tell me?"

"Because I was afraid that you'd work yourself up and get yourself killed," I said bluntly. "I have more experience dealing with Russia, and trust me, you can't just walk up to him and ask him to leave someone alone. If it was that easy I would've gotten Latvia and Estonia away from him years ago." I still remembered very clearly the pain and blood that had come out of that very proposal…oh, God, I didn't want to think about this!

"Now, if you're done interrogating me, could I please finish my bath?" I asked him coolly, eager to be alone again.

"Oh." He turned red, embarrassed. "Yeah, totally. Sorry. I'll just- yeah."

He stood up and left, closing the door carefully behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts once more.


	2. Closer

**Guess what! There's an **_**actual historical reference **_**in this one. *dance* Poland under house arrest, Liet's fever…well, okay, that's pretty much it. But it's better than nothing.**

**Here's the song Poland sings, with the English translation, in case you're wondering:**

**http:/lyricstranslate. com/de/Mysli-i-slowa-Thoughts-and-Words. Html**

**I do not own Hetalia or any of its characters. I'm not quite that cool.**

I sank deeper into the water after Poland had left, closing my eyes. I contemplated sinking even lower, completely submerging myself, and never coming back up…

I shook my head angrily, trying to clear my mind of these thoughts. I had no right to be thinking them, especially now, when I had just regained my will to fight back.

I eventually realized that I'd probably been hiding in the bathroom for too long and regretfully climbed out of the cooling water. Because that's what I'd been doing- hiding. I didn't want to know what conclusions Poland had come to about the incident. I just wanted to forget about the whole thing.

As I pulled my clothes on, a glint of reflected light caught my eye. I hesitated. There hadn't been many mirrors in Russia's house, and I'd never gotten the chance to pay attention to the ones that he had.

I approached the mirror and looked in. My face was paler than I remembered, my hair longer, my eyes a little duller, but otherwise there was no change.

After staring at my reflection for another moment, I slowly turned my back to the mirror, looking over my shoulder as I did so. The amount of scarring and bruises on my back wasn't any more than I had expected, but I could see why Poland had been so shocked. _I wonder what scars he has that I don't know about…_

I finished putting my clothes on somewhat slower than I had been before the mirror had distracted me, reminded that I would have to face Poland when I left the room. I felt guilty about my unwillingness to communicate, but I couldn't help it.

_It was never like this before_, I thought, a little sadly. _We used to be able to talk to each other about anything, share our hopes and dreams and fears…and our hearts. Why has it become so hard…?_

_Because I won't talk to _him, I realized. _That's the problem, or at least one of them. I need to be more open…_ With that thought, I steeled myself to face Poland and his inevitable questions.

To my considerable surprise, Poland didn't mention anything about the incident, although he was acting a little more awkward than he usually was around me. I half-wanted to bring it up myself, to prove to myself that I could talk if I wanted to…but I couldn't. The subject was too painful to broach by myself.

After a somewhat tense dinner full of forced conversation, it was an honest relief to get into bed. I was ready for the day to be over. Poland and I had gotten into the habit of sleeping together when we were children, and we never really got out of it unless we were going through a tough period.

We lay in peaceful silence together. I stared up at the darkened ceiling and tried to lose myself in the darkness, to clear my mind of thoughts…

"Hey, Liet?"

Oh, well. I turned to face Poland. "Yeah?"

He shifted towards me, putting his arm around my body and drawing me closer, like he used to do when we were children and I would have nightmares. "Don't hold things in like that anymore, okay?"

Surprised, I just sat there at first, unsure of how to react. But then I relaxed a little and snuggled closer to him. "Okay. I promise," I murmured, already somewhat lulled to sleep by the warmth generated by his body. I unconsciously placed my hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat through his thin nightshirt.

My last thought before succumbing to the darkness was that maybe, just maybe, we really weren't as estranged as I had thought.

When I woke up the next morning, Poland was already gone. I lingered in bed for while, unwilling to relinquish the warm blankets, but I eventually gave up and dragged myself out of bed to go find Poland.

I was surprised to find him in the kitchen making breakfast. Walking over to where he was standing by the stove, I leaned down slightly and kissed him on the cheek. When he looked up at me in surprise I said, "We had a rough day yesterday. Let's try to make today better, okay?"

His brilliant smile succeeded in cheering my spirits even more. I wanted to take him in my arms, kiss him, tell him how much I had missed him…but I couldn't bring myself to.

"This is good," I mumbled through a mouthful of egg ten minutes later. "When did you learn to cook like this?" Usually I was the one stuck with the cooking when we were sharing a house, mostly because Poland had always been one to…how does it go? Burn water?

"Oh, you know," he said casually, waving a hand. "I, like, had a lot of free time when I was under house arrest."

"Ah," was all I could think of to reply. I needed to remember that Poland had been through his own trials, not just me.

The rest of the meal passed quickly through a lingering silence.

"I need to go run a few errands today," Poland said after the dishes had been cleaned up. "Do you, like, want to come with?"

"I think I need a nap," I said honestly. "But thanks for asking." Midway through breakfast I'd started feeling a little tired, probably because of Russia's old philosophy of 'an early riser gets more work done.'

"All right," he replied cheerfully. "I'll, like, come back soon."

I ended up lying down on the couch instead of going back to our bedroom. I didn't really want to fall asleep as much as just rest, and I knew I would have trouble with that in an actual bed.

I fell asleep anyway. I drifted through a dark and confusing dream of bloody snow and scarves and falling…

I jerked awake, gasping. The details of the dream were already going fuzzy in my memory, but the fear was still there.

"Are you, like, okay?"

It took me a moment to realize that Poland was sitting on the couch next to me. I started to sit up, but he shook his head and patted his lap. "C'mere." I obligingly shifted so that my head was resting on his lap and let him stroke my hair. It had been too long since we'd been close like this, far too long…

"Bad dream?" he asked quietly. I nodded, closing my eyes and concentrated on calming my breathing as he started singing softly.

"_Kocham cię, uciekają myśli złe  
Zamiast róż magię słów  
Kocham cię, czasem zapominam, że  
Tylko to liczy się_

_Widziałam w twoich oczach tamten blask  
Kiedy mówiłeś kocham pierwszy raz_

_Myśli i słowa by znowu budować nowy dzień, nowy, nowy dzień  
Wichry i burze, to wszystko by znów wiedzieć, że..._

_Kocham cię, nasza miłość zmienia się  
Tak jak my, z każdym dniem  
Tak bardzo kocham cię i wierzę w każde słowo twe  
Gdy jesteś tuż obok mnie..."_

His soft voice carried me off to sleep again, although this time it was uninterrupted by dreams.

I was woken again by Poland calling my name.

"Liet?"

I blinked blearily at him, not fully awake.

"I hate to wake you, but I think you've, like, got a fever," he informed me.

"Damn it," I muttered, pushing myself up off of his lap. I pressed the back of my hand against my forehead; it did seem a little hotter than usual, but it was hard to tell. That would explain my sleepiness earlier, though…

I stood up and almost immediately fell back into the couch, overcome by a sudden headache.

"What's wrong?" Poland asked, standing and helping me up as well.

"Well, I definitely have a fever," I replied with a sigh. "I need to get back to my own house, I've been here too long…"

"Now?" Poland asked, looking disappointed. "Can't you at least, like, stay for lunch?"

I laughed. "Can't get enough of me, can you?" When he didn't reply, I kissed him briefly and said quietly, "We'll see each other again soon. I'm sure of it."

He smiled at me. "I'll, like, see you then, _słońce_."


End file.
